


Let Me Into Your Heart

by heavenzfiend



Category: AFTER L!FE: The Sacred Kaleidoscope | 애프터라이프: 소원을 담는 만화경!
Genre: Angst and Feels, Character Study, Comfort Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hopeful Ending, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:27:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25582843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavenzfiend/pseuds/heavenzfiend
Summary: “I like being alone.” You recall how those words used to hurt you but you find out that those who say such words are those who are the loneliest.
Relationships: Nine/Reader (Manager)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	Let Me Into Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Reading Nine’s childhood story really affected me! This poor reaper needs so much love (but don’t they all?!). This doesn’t contain any major spoilers, just a whole lot of hurting with some hopefulness sprinkled around. Thank you and enjoy!

“I like being alone.” You had often heard him say this to others as if chanting some kind of a mantra in a desperate attempt to push others away but you know that he was trying to convince himself of this with the verbal repetition more than anything. You recall how those words used to hurt you and how those simple words had plunged a dagger straight through your heart and cast a force field surrounding himself to ward you off when you mustered up the courage to finally confess your feelings to this elusive man that you ended up loving. 

You knew that those who say such words are those who are the loneliest. 

You harbored feelings for him for many, many Soul Reaper Era years but his heart seemed nearly impenetrable. Over the long time you’ve known him, he was always polite to everyone yet so very _distant_. Despite his rejection of your feelings, you couldn’t move on and you certainly couldn’t hate him because his eyes were glistening with moisture despite the words escaping his lips, almost begging you to not leave him. You promised him you'd wait for however long it took for him to be comfortable with sharing pieces of himself with you, if he so desired. 

Clutching the sheets to your chest, you rise slightly from your bed to observe Nine standing forlornly by the windowsill as he gazes outside. It is mostly dark outside so you’re unsure what he is able to see but something tells you that even if you join his side physically to peer at the same scene you will not be able to perceive the things he does, the shadows of his past that you wish you can see as well haunting him still. 

Your memory takes you back to the fateful day when your long, arduous wait came to fruition, your hearts finally aligning as one. One random night, Nine invited you to join him at the private gardens. Optimistic with his rare invitation, you sought after the beautifully mysterious man who, until this point, supposedly didn’t want your heart that you freely offered to him. He had rejected you before but, for some inexplicable reason, you had a feeling that your wait was more-or-less over. 

Moonlight paved your way as your feet nimbly landed on the cobblestones dotting the sparkling pond. The plopping of raindrops against your umbrella muffled the distant sound of music but your body naturally found its way towards the source, as if it was being lured by a hypnotizing, irresistible temptation. When you approached the pavilion, the dark silhouette of Nine looked painfully lonely and you instantly felt relief at your decision to accept his invitation, knowing that you couldn’t leave him alone no matter what.

The melody of the _daegum_ sounded shockingly tragic as it harmonized with the steady downpour of nature’s own tears. This secluded garden beyond the Department building that had shined brightly with fireflies and mesmerizingly colorful array of flowers at the best of times took on a greyscale at the somber atmosphere of that night instead. However, you could almost hear a hint of hopefulness after the song’s climax which gradually hit crescendo towards the end. 

Nine looked almost ephemeral, standing with the drizzling rain behind him and moonlight shining against his silver hair. He turned around to give you a soft smile and you’d never known there could exist an expression that both filled your heart with joy and crushed it all at once. You leapt into his arms to offer any comfort you possibly could.

“Miss Manager, I love you.” You gasped at that unexpected confession. Oh, how long you had waited for this very moment.

“Oh Nine, me too. I love you so, so much…” Your tears soaked the fabric of his robes due to the weight of those words and how difficult it must’ve been for him to say them, yet he did just for you. You couldn’t even begin to fathom how much thought and effort must have gone into voicing his feelings for someone so reserved as Nine.

That night, you shared your first kiss with him in that magical garden where, you swear, glowed with color and stopped raining by the time you guys returned to your respective dorms.

-

Your musing ends when Nine approaches you in that fluid motion of his, barely making any noise as he almost glides on top of the surface of the floor. He effortlessly slides the sleeping robes off his body onto the floor before he lifts the covers of your bed, cold air prickling your skin instantly with goosebumps.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” He lies next to you now, upper body perched up by one arm. He bends down to kiss your forehead tenderly, gazing into your eyes with reverence. 

“Not at all.” You smile as his kisses land on an eyelid, the bridge of your nose, and then on each of your cheeks. His delicate fingers trace the sensitive skin of your throat, drawing invisible swirls as if he is painting a masterpiece only visible to him. He rarely leaves physical marks on your skin, usually being careful in the way he touches you and kisses you. 

Nine is possessive in a way that can only be described as discreet— so discreet that others probably have no idea just how possessive he really is, but he most certainly is, as you’ve come to know throughout your relationship to this soft-spoken Soul Reaper. 

Perhaps due to keeping his heart guarded for so long from the fear of being hurt again, of being abandoned again by someone he opens up to, once you and he became a couple, he was always one step away from your shadows to protect you from anyone and anything. 

This union between you two seems like nothing short of a miracle to you when you reflect back to how long you had to chase after him. Some days, loneliness seems so deeply embedded in his heart, eating away at his very core that it almost breaks your heart just to see him in such a state of desolation. However, when you were finding pleasure together like this in each other’s arms, everything else in the world can be briefly forgotten about. 

His hands roam the contours of your body, already having memorized your sweet spots from the numerous times you’ve shared in the comforts of physical liaisons. His fingers caress your inner thighs and you’re already wet for a second time that night. It isn’t uncommon for you to engage in sex multiple times a night during the nights the two of you share a bed. 

Everything about Nine is subtle, nothing flashy and screaming for attention. Even his voice waltzes on the air droplets, the dulcet tones reaching your ears in the sweetest sensation, lulling you to sleep most nights; tonight, however, is not one of those nights. Tonight, his soft voice was whispering naughty questions in your ear and making your stomach muscles clench in anticipation. 

“Do you want me to be inside of you again, Miss Manager?” You feel the blush creep up your chest and dye your cheeks red as you give a small nod. He cups your cheeks and an equally slight smile adorns his face. “Can you be on top, please, so I can look at your face?” 

“Y-Yea…” You give a shaky reply as you climb onto his lap, his hardness pressing against your slippery opening. You slowly lower yourself to take him deeply inside of you, managing to take more of him than earlier tonight in this bold position. You breathe heavily as his length slides all the way inside, barely any space separating your joined bodies. There is never any pain or discomfort when he’s inside of you, only an incredible _fullness_.

“It’s so comforting to be within you… I wish I never have to leave it,” Nine says as he holds you gently in his embrace, not in any hurry to move or press you. You’re the one who makes the first move as usual, as you are splayed over his lap and rocking up and down for some much needed friction. His fingers stroke your slick flesh where you are joined together and you make incoherent noises of approval. 

“Yes, sing for me…” He buries his face in the crook of your neck to inhale your scent, tickling your sensitive skin with every movement. Embers of pleasure streak through your veins as your hips arch to the rhythm of his fingers. A part of you wants to stifle the strange sounds that sidle up your throat but you deeply inhale to help release them since your lover likes nothing better than to hear every sound you emit. He can probably pick up on all your likes and dislikes simply from listening to the tone of your voice, since he is a naturally gifted musician which most likely means his hearing is exceptionally more sensitive than others. 

Your heart pounds loudly against your chest as his fingers continue their maddening strokes. Your hip gyrations are almost a back-and-forth between fleeing his unrelenting fingers and seeking them out again and again. You gasp as an onslaught of pleasure wrack your body and tiny shivers pulse through every nerve from your toes to your fingertips. Dizzy with too much intense sensation, you sag against his chest but he takes control until you soon feel the shudder of his own body tremble in you. His arms encircle you so tightly, squeezing you to the point where it becomes a bit difficult to breathe. 

“Miss Manager, please don’t leave me. Please.” He always seems so full of emotion after joining together that screams vulnerability and you are sure seeing Nine in this state is a special privilege only you get have. You also think it is a special gift of his to make you so emotional every time you guys have sex, especially when he gathers you close like a child not wanting to part from his favorite toy, holding you securely from an unperceivable monster that exists only in his mind’s eye. You both need the connection, the comfort that your love brings to each other. 

He's always thinking and doing things alone that you often ask him to share those private thoughts and activities with you, so you can work things out together to unravel the phantoms of his past. You want to do anything to help unburden the complex fears that haunt him so he can break down his invisible barrier around other Soul Reapers as well. 

Nine only stops caressing you when sleep overtakes him but even then his arms refuse to let you go. He sighs contently when you soothe his forearms in a calming manner as if placating a lonely animal. You hope for many things in your afterlife, but for now, you are happy with the things that he does share with you and hope that one day his past, present, and future can be yours.

**Author's Note:**

> The daegum is a traditional Korean wind instrument that Nine plays! His SSR card has a picture of him holding it. Thank you so much for reading and let me know how you liked it! Have a wonderful day! :)


End file.
